My month goals

So, it was too unrealistic for me to be able to continue excercising at 5 Every morning. Especially now that I am watching a friend's very infantilized child while she is moving and fixing up her house to move. I can't get anything done for 9 hours because her child cannot be put down. I don't know how her husband, who is the one at home with him, gets anything done.

However. I am recommitting to exercise for the rest of this month. I WILL go biking/swimming twice a week. I WILL do my exercise ball exercises once a week. I WILL use the Wii at least once a week. And as soon as I finish getting all my produce put up, I will go back on my diet. Stinks when you have fresh produce that you have always believed is super healthy but you just can't eat it on your diet. But I am canning, I canned peaches with splenda and have been drying herbs and freezing zucchini and will have produce later in the year when I don't have access to fresh produce any longer.

Good luck everyone!

Checking In

So I have found that I am an inconsistant blogger when I don't have good news to share. Which is really not very accountable. So I had better post and be more accountable! I have had another stay-in-place week, it seems like it is just so hard with everything on my plate. But my kitchen is finally all repainted, and looking very nice if I do say so myself. And my bathroom is as done as I can get it since plumbing is not my forte. I was able to take a bath in my tub for the first time in four months-yay! Now the only thing left to do is hook up the sink and the toilet, which I will try to do myself if another week goes by without it getting done. I am really looking forward to school starting, as I will be able to get out of the house to exercise in between my kiddos going to school and my extra kiddos showing up and it won't mean my having to wake up before dawn.

I am hoping next week I will be able to stick to a stricter diet and utilize my Wii Fit more. I am still in project mode, two friends decided they are finally getting married and gave everyone 10 days advance notice of their elopement. And a cousin just got engaged. So I am working on the crocheted blankets I make for wedding gifts that take a month apeice to make and hoping to make them both in one month instead of two more months in project mode.

Last week on "pause"

So at the beginning of the week I realized how rough this week would be and just hoped that I could stay at the same spot instead of going backwards. It was pretty stressful and my family won't be back until late Sunday, but I basically was able to meet my goal of staying in the same spot. (weigh in this morning 272) I had some fluctuation in weight throughout the week. I have a lot of that usually so I don't watch the scale, but I really didn't want to slide backwards with not being able to go out to exercise so I kept a close eye on it.

I have pinpointed one of my issues that I am going to need to deal with. I have a very hard time exercising unless I leave the house specifically to exercise. When I am at home there is so much work for me to do that I just can't make myself take the time to exercise there. And of course I justify that I'm doing so much physical work with the kitchen and bathroom remodel that I at least am expending SOME calories, but it just isn't the same as focused exercise.

And on top of it, I really dislike the exercise videos I have. I need to find a workout video that is designed for VERY overweight, unbalanced, unflexible, uncoordinated people. But it has to be fun to do. Picky, I know. Anyone have one of those to recommend?

Well, I count this last week as progress, even though I didn't overall lose any weight. The last time I stopped exercise for a week, I gained some weight back. Not fun.

This week was pretty stressful with half of my family being gone. My husband lost his wallet so I had to find a way to get him money and get all of the cards inside cancelled. I worried about my father inlaw-he is fine now. I didn't have use of a vehicle. My husband had to replace all four tires on our car because they were in bad shape. And now I am trying to figure out a way to get myself and my son to church on Sunday. I have had to miss church more than usual lately, which is not good for the kids in Primary (I am chorister) to not have continuity of who is there every Sunday.

To top it all off, I am a worrier. A worrier with a very active imagination. Maybe I'm a bit of a control freak, too. With two of the kids with their Dad at Grandma and Grandpa's I had visions of all kinds of farm-related accidents and horrible things that could happen. Yet when I'm there with them I don't worry about that, hence the control freak aspect.

But even though it was stressful and I was doing a lot of work, I got to have some fun with Bryce. I enjoyed the one on one time that we don't usually have. We played board games and video games together, went grocery shopping and I learned a lot about the kind of food he likes. He is big on fruit. We had watermelon and peaches and bananas and cabbage and grape juice that he picked out for us. The 6 month old baby I watch loved the watermelon and ate a full piece by herself. And even the little four year old I watch was happier, she usually isn't very affectionate with Bryce, treats him like she would a brother that gets on her nerves, and gave Bryce a big hug when she left on Friday. Bryce and I got to go on a playdate and he had a lot of fun playing with the kids while I got to talk to friends, and we got a lot of snuggling time in.

Now on to next week! I just hope I can get back into the swing of things and have a good week of exercise!

Diet

I think I need to get started on a diet so that when the exercise is harder to do I can still stay on track. Here's what I've decided will be my basics, and I'll work on it from there!

1. Eat at least 8 grams of fiber at breakfast.

2. Have a midmorning and midafternoon snack that is 150 calories.

3. Build every lunch and dinner like a pyramid: Veggies are the base, lean protein is next, and a small amount of healthy carbs tops it off.

4. Avoid sneaky, high-calorie toppings and other add-ons.

5. Have at least three quick planned breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks on hand so temptation doesn't have time.

6. A treat every day.

7. Get at least seven hours of sleep every night.

This is not good...

So on Monday I was down to 270. With no exercise if you don't count all the demolition/construction I am doing right now in my kitchen and bathroom, the lack of sleep with most of my family away, and the stress eating I keep catching myself doing, I'm back up to 273 this morning.

I need to get my butt in gear and start getting some exercise when I'm at home and can't leave to exercise. So today I am going to get out those exercise DVDs I HATE and give them a try until I feel like I got a workout in. And I am going to keep a food log so I stay on top of my stress eating. Wish me luck!

Change of Plan, I'm still here!

I wasn't able to get time off and go back home with the family, but it sounds like my father in law is doing better already. I have my Bryce here-he's the baby even though at five, that word is not one he appreciates. So no biking in the morning or swimming lessons in the evening. I am also vehicle-less, my van has finally decided it can go no farther until it has some major TLC. So if we need anything, we will be walking. And if I do any exercise away from the house, it needs to be something my 5 year old can do. We will be making at least one grocery store trip this week, which is half the distance we are used to walking when we go to the swimming pool, so carrying back some weight should not be an issue. I was absolutely horrid on the food yesterday, I ate late at night which I have tried to stop doing, and had some stress-related eating that stopped after I realized what I was doing. But the scale was nice to me this morning, down to 271. One more pound down! Has anyone else noticed that their weight loss/gain seems to have a week to week mindset? I wonder if it's tied to hormones. It seems I have one week of weight gain, one week of plateau, one week of gradual weight loss, and one week of higher weight loss. No matter how hard I work, my weight seems to follow that same general pattern. Let me know if you guys have noticed anything similar, and if you have any great ideas for exercise at home. My Treadmill isn't working, and now neither is my Wii, so no Wii Fit. I think it came unplugged or something along those lines, but in the mass of cables I can't really tell although I have tried. Any ideas would be appreciated!

Will shortly be MIA

Yesterday I did my catch-up day of biking and had a good day as far as food went. Today is my day of rest. My father-in-law fell yesterday and is in the hostpital, so I am packing everyone now for a trip back home to help out while he is laid up and won't be able to post for a bit. My goal is to at the least maintain where I am at 272 and not backtrack to where I was before since I won't be able to bike, and any exercise I do will have to be something I can do and supervise my youngest at the same time. So hopefully I can come up with something creative to keep up the exercise! Keep going, guys!

Thursday and Friday

Yesterday I slept in, and did the Wii Fit instead for my exercise. Was ok on eating, and I was glad to see I wasn't as exhausted as I had been the day before. It was lighter exercise, I spent most of my time on the yoga and balance exercises. My arms are a little sore from it, I wasn't expecting to feel any difference besides maybe longterm flexibility, so it is a bit surprising. Spent most of the day dealing with a flat tire and then a flat spare, getting pulled over for a nonworking brake light and then taking care of that and getting the ticket dismissed. When the officer walks up to your window and you have four kids in the back singing the COPS theme song and he doesn't even crack a smile you know it's going to be a long day.

Didn't get up early to exercise this morning either, (that's two days in a row now) maybe my goal is just a little bit too optimistic of doing it every day by myself. I had started doing it with a friend who was much further along than I am and now it doesn't work for us to exercise together anymore.

With all the changes in the weather I just keep having to deal with migraines, which is draining as well, so even though I was light on the exercise I was asleep again from 10-11 and had a pain in the brain the rest of the day. Sometimes the medicine doesn't do it's whole job yet you don't want to take anything stronger and have to deal with those side effects, and get brain pain- not a migraine any more or even a headache, it's just a .. pain.

I was pretty proud of myself today, did really well on food all day, even when I went to a movie, no drink, no popcorn, no chocolate, which for me is an accomplishment. Which, by the way, The Time Traveller's Wife was good but I was one of the few that didn't cry. I always wonder when that happens if I'm broken. It might have been better if I didn't keep wondering if it really was PG13 with the amount of naked behind they showed. But I hear that if you read the book first the movie is actually better than the book so maybe I should have read it first!

I have made appointments for me to have swimming lessons so that when I go swimming it is more effective than me just doggie paddling everywhere, and I know that will help me get back into swimming instead of feeling.. stupid when I try to swim.

It isn't helping how tired I am or how stressed I am that my darling husband's job is keeping him at work until 11 at night this whole week. Of course I am staying up so I get to see him, and that makes it very hard to get up at 5 and exercise. I just keep telling myself how glad I am that he has a job with all the economic instability, but it still is kinda hard to deal with being a work widow!

So.. tomorrow. My goal is to exercise for ONE hour. I am really enjoying my bike, so I probably will just do that again.

Ugh.. tired.

So yesterday morning I exercised and started out with a lot of energy in the morning.. that didn't last very long at all. For some reason I've been dealing with exhaustion after exercising lately, that lasts for about a full day. By 8am I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and slept until 11, but wasn't refreshed much at all. Thank goodness my kiddos don't mind Mama dozing on the couch. Was really good on food all day long and went to bed at 7 after Blaine got home and dinner was done. My poor husband had to wake me up as I had told him we needed to get some school shopping done, and we headed in to WalMart. On the way we got a flat tire, which he quickly changed, and I will need to deal with today. Was fighting sleep the whole shopping trip and grabbed a candy bar for a quick pick me up hoping the sugar would give me enough of a boost to make it to bed. Didn't get up and exercise this morning, was still too tired, although I am feeling better now after sleeping until 9am. I don't understand why I get so exhausted after exercising, will have to figure out how to deal with it better than just sleeping so much more. Plan on doing some light exercising today with the Wii Fit, and I'll see if that affects me the same way.

Is anyone else dealing with being extra tired after exercising? Is it normal/is there any good way of dealing with it? Half of me is wondering if there's just some small thing I need to change, like eat before I exercise or something that will fix this problem.

Day One-Shauna

Starting Weight 275. Will weigh and report every Tuesday as the scale fluctuates so much for me daily that it's less of a rollercoaster to weigh once a week unless there's something specific I'm watching. Had a good day, but realized why I started driving to the pool instead of walking. Unless my schedule loosens up I won't do that again, as I was late getting home and one of the kids' Dads was waiting. Whoops! Got up this morning and biked and walked and got thoroughly drenched for my efforts. Came home at 6:45 instead of 7 when the drizzle turned into a downpour. Feel good though, lots of energy which hopefully lasts the whole day. It was a bit harder to keep going on the bike this morning, that week long break wasn't very good for my endurance. Working back up to the routes I ended with. Hope to be able to do them again in a few days of biking. Wish my treadmill was working as I could still do that in the rain!

Always playing catch-up

With all of the irons I already have in the proverbial fire, you'd think I'd have learned by now to just say no, that I don't have time to do everything.. or something like that. But when I realized I felt like a very old woman in a fat suit, with me barely 30, just starting what was supposed to be the prime of my life, I knew I couldn't put it off taking care of my health any longer.

First, a little background. I am the fourth child of 10 children. My younger brothers and sisters came to me when they needed someone. And I understood them, spoke their language. And from then on I have been taking care of children that I did not bear but that I have great love for. A neighbor put it best: Children collect me. I help a child in need and then I am forever theirs, tied to their lives by strings of love. I can't quantify how much time I have invested in children. Maybe one way to put it is that I have potty-trained 17 children in 12 years. You may extrapolate from there.

I had never had any weight problems growing up, I never had to think of how much I weighed. I was athletic and busy and didn't sit still long enough to gain any extra weight. And then when I was married and pregnant with my oldest child health issues left me with 100 extra pounds. That stayed. No matter where I tried to leave them they just kept following me. Now 11 years later I still have those 100 extra pounds, plus 40 more that the years and two more children have graced me with. (Plus gray hair, but I have this little arrangement with Clairol.) I have tried dieting of all kinds with no lasting results, but never felt I had time to be as physically active as I was before having a family of my own.

Health issue after health issue has plagued me, and I am finally fed up. I could list my current health issues, but it is a long and rather boring list. I think I'll just leave it for now and mention them when they (inevitably) resurface to irritate me. So, I have been playing a game of catch up. But now, instead of trying to catch up with my kids, or trying to catch up with everyone that is passing me by, I'm just trying to catch up to myself. Trying to make the picture in my head of the me that can do anything match up with the real me that is slow and tired. One of these days the picture in my mind will match what the mirror says.

My Plan: Exercise. And blogging.

I have never had a problem with eating healthy, or eating too much. I probably eat less now than I did when I was an active teenager. But I need to be active now. So I have started exercising in the mornings. I walk, bike, and/or swim in the mornings. I walk three miles once a week, bike up to 7 miles, and swim for an hour. I know I look silly, but I always feel so much better after I exercise that I don't care HOW silly I look, I know it is good for me to do what little I am able. When I first started I didn't think I had time to focus on exercise by myself or with my kids, but I have found that what you focus on, you find time for. The best part of my new exercise focus has been walking daily with my kids to the pool, 2.2 miles a day,and swimming for an hour and a half as well. I know it is helping my kids to have more movement in their day, and the difference is visible. It's very gratifying to see that I have lost 13 pounds, but it is daunting to realize what a small amount that is when my Doctor says I have 132 more to go. But, numbers are not everything.

Why add blogging to it when I complain of never having enough time? Because for the past week I have not been able to drag my butt out of bed at 5am. And we have found driving to the pool during the day much more convenient than walking. There just isn't enough accountability between me and the scale or tape measure to keep me going. Just like it's easier for me to work up the courage to give blood when I have an appointment and know that someone out there will know if I don't show up and donate, I need that little extra bit of encouragement to keep me going. I will have to be accountable to you guys from now on and will remember you in the morning when I decide whether to hit the bike or the snooze button. So, in advance, thank you.

I need to get a camera working so I can get better pictures of what I really look like to other people.. but I have a recent one I can show. About a month ago I tried biking with friends. I only go about half their speed. The whole time I was trying to catch up with everyone else and just miserable. I have so much fun when it is just me and my bike and I can go my own speed. No more trying to catch up! Soon enough my speed will be a speed I can be proud of. But for now I am proud of just getting out there and doing it.

And now to let you guys in on a little secret: I'm training for a triathalon. Okay, so I don't know exactly when I'll be in good enough shape to do one, but that's my goal. And I don't care how long it takes me to get to the finish line, I WILL get there. Just try to catch me!