Hi! Remember me? Probably not!!

Lately, I've been rejoining the blogging world. So here I am again.

And how am I doing with my weight?

Need I go on?

That being said, I've begun taking the right steps. Again. I did do HCG three times. For a while I was down to 185 and I kept that weight pretty well for probably eight or nine months. Then I fell off the bandwagon and started gaining. And gaining.

Hit 200 again. Hit 210 again.

Panicked. Hated myself. Called the doctor.

I've been meaning to get into the doctor for a while to ask about some things. One of them was my thyroid and just general health stuff. I came back fine. Everything was fine. Which is good in a lot of ways. I don't have to worry about high cholesterol, high blood pressure, a bad thyroid or any of that stuff.

Which means, that I can't blame my weight gain on anything BUT my own choices! Sigh. I guess the great thing is that I can start making different choices.

One choice? I've just started on some anti-anxiety medication (go see these two posts for more information). I tend to eat a whole lot more when my anxiety is high. So managing my anxiety through the medication and other things is important.

In speaking with my doctor we decided to also put me on an appetite suppressant.  I'll only be on it for a total of three months, but it should give me a bit of a jump start and encourage me to keep on losing.

In the meantime I'm trying to develop healthier habits overall. The eating hasn't been as good as it should be, but my appetite is definitely smaller, so I have lost weight. I've also been walking more. I read about people doing all kinds of great exercise, running five miles a day, or spinning, or lifting weights and how they feel so good and blah blah blah. I hate it. Because I kind of have the belief that I won't get to the weight I want to (my doctor recommended 160), without doing that kind of crazy exercise.

But you know what? That's okay. I'm just going to start with walking. And so I have. I haven't walked every day, but I have walked a lot more this summer than I have in a long time. And I listen to an audiobook while I do it, making it pretty enjoyable. I don't even walk that far--probably 2 1/2 miles when I do. But hey. That's ok for now.

And I'm just going to continue developing healthier habits. Maybe after walking for a couple of years I'll go to the next level, and maybe start running. Doubt it, but hey miracles have happened before.

I just need to remember this process isn't just about being thin (although I love the idea!), but it's also about me being HEALTHY. Maybe I always figured if I was thin I'd be healthy. But that isn't necessarily true.

So I'm back. And hopefully I'll stay. I've gone from 210 to 196.2 as of this morning. Keeping on, keeping on. And this time, it takes as long as it takes, and I will make sure I'm either maintaining or losing. NOT GAINING. And being HEALTHY.