Cautiously optimisitc

I have 3 weeks of working behind me and so far so good. I have only been able to go hiking twice because it is too early and dark and no time to get ready for work, or too hot or too much to get done when I get home.  But I have been able to continue doing my yoga in the mornings before work and my 10 minute Dance it Off cd.  I also make sure to wear my pedometer to work. My goal is to take more than 10,000 steps each day. I read that that is the point at which your body starts losing weight. Whether that is true or not is beside the point for me, the more steps I take the better, right?

So I found out the other day that if I walk every single hall and take at least 3 of the staircases at work, one round is almost enough steps to make a mile.  I found that out by accident when I had to deliver something to every single teacher and had only 20 minutes to do it. That was the first day I did almost 10,000 steps at work. 

Each day I try to do more than I did the day before. It gets me up and moving, it gets me out in the halls between classes and sometimes during class so I see and meet more of the students and that is a good thing.  Then every other day I try to walk on the treadmill doing one of the pre-programmed workouts. 

So far I have done great, so I am cautiously optimistic that I will be able to maintain this level of activity and wellness and continue with weight loss and healing and getting well.  Today my daughter has a soccer match, so I will be walking on the track during half-time. Maybe. I have homework I am taking with me, so maybe it will be the treadmill after the game.

Saturday I did 5 miles on the treadmill- 2 preprogrammed workouts in 1 hour.  I was only going to do one, but when it was done, I barely had accelerated breathing and felt I could do more. So I went upstairs and re-filled my water bottle then went back downstairs and did the next harder workout. It was almost easy as well.  That was exciting to me- 5 miles that was almost easy, barely breathing hard and able to carry on a conversation with my son that was watching a movie with me while I walked. 4 months ago I could barely do no incline and speeds 3-4 for 15 minutes and here I was doing incline 6 speed 6-7 for 60 minutes and barely feeling it!

And did you know it takes 12,200 steps to equal 5 miles?

Great Expectations?

Here we are, one and a half weeks into the school year. One full week of no morning hiking. And I realized that the unexpected has happened for me. I miss it. Really, I do.

When I was in high school I had a P.E. class that was running.  That is what it was called, Running. And in class we, get this, ran. Everyday. For 4 minutes. We had 55 minute classes, so P.E. went for 40 minutes for activity, 5 minutes to dress out at the beginning and 5 minutes to dress down at the end of class. Sometimes we ran around the track- boring and I hated it and was slow at it. Sometime we ran cross country around the neighborhoods around the school. I liked that and was pretty good and fast. But it was never my favorite activity.  I would have prefered dance, but it was not offered at my highschool and I lived in the middle of nowhere in a town that is not even a map dot. In fact I went to school in a different town than the one in which I lived, and that town is a map dot, but not much else. So the opportunity to take dance? slim to none.

But I digress. I went to college- far, far away and the opportunity to take dance was suddenly all around me. And so I availed of that opportunity and I was dancing everyday, except Sunday and even then sometimes in the kitchen when no one was looking. And I didn't have to run.

Then I got married and all joy was ripped out of my life and my dancing ceased. And I had babies and gained weight.

I tried to walk it off. I would start by just walking around the block. And I would last  for about a week. Two at the most. It was hard and it made me hurt and I would just stop, telling myself that I will start again- next week. So the beginning of this past summer when I decided to start hiking in order to hike the trail without stopping, my biggest concern was my history of starting again- next week. And I tried to not have huge expectations. That is why I made my  goal simply to be able to hike the trail without stopping. And I did, on August 16. I did it in 16 minutes, without stopping. (I blogged about it here)

Throughout the summer I hiked 30+ miles, lost 15 lbs (well 14.6) and 2 inches from all of my measurements. I feel better, look better and will soon be off some of my meds. I knew all of those things would be a side benefit- if I didn't stop. And I feel that the Lord blessed me to help me continue on. To have the committment level to get out of bed in the mornings, even when I wanted to stay and laze around- read, sleep, whatever. To continue putting one foot in front of the other, even when I didn't think I could.  And for some reason this time it was not hard.

But when I tried walking on a track the other day? My knees hurt, my back hurt, and I just had to stop. and when we hiked up to Timpanogos cave? Same thing. Hmmm, asphalt trail, asphalt track, asphalt neighborhood route = pain and stopping. Dirt trail, dirt hike= stamina and no pain and willingness to go on even when it is hard.

And the biggest surprise of all? Since school started I have only been able to hike outside once and I miss it. Really miss it. When I find myself outside, I feel a pull to the mountain and a desire to lace up my shoes, shoulder my camel back, grab my poles and hit the trail. I long for it. And I never, ever expected that. 

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I just did 2.8 miles in 30 minutes on the treadmill and it feels so good to be moving again.
I do 20-30 minutes of yoga every morning and it feels great. I started a new one this week and I can really feel it in my abs. I have been wearing my pedometer to work to count my steps and I have a goal of 10,000 steps/day. The most I have done is 9,500.
And I have a goal of losing 15-20 more lbs and walking either outside or on the treadmill 2-3 times a week. I have had to become  inventive- walking around the field during half time of my daughter's soccer game, parking further away from the soccer field so I have to walk further to get there, making sure I take the long route around the school when going from one place to another, doing leg stretchs while working the till in the lunch room- up on my tip toes then rock to my heels, stand on one foot for one transaction then the other for the next. It just looks like I am bored and can't stand still, but it feels good and burns calories.

Can she do it?

Ok, I go back to work today. Granted it is just for today and I don't go back for the school year until next week. Yikes! Where did the summer go?

When I made it my goal at the beginning of summer to defeat the hike that I thought would be the death of me, I was really scared that I would give up, roll over and play dead until time to actually die. I am impressed with myself that I have been consistent and that the hike is now enjoyable and I look forward to it. And more than that, I now only stop once for about 90 seconds and then I am off and can do the hike in 8-10 minutes as opposed to the 45 it took me the first time.

Now the scary part is when I can no longer go in the mornings. Like today. I would be almost at the top of the hike right now, but I would not have time to get home and showered and changed in time to be at work at 7:30 and when school starts I have to be there at 7:15. So, no more morning hiking. Except on Saturday. I am going to try to go in the afternoon/evenings from now on, but am not sure how that is going to actually work if it is 90-100* because I can't be out in the heat.  So we will see how it goes.

This morning I did 2 yoga cds and my 10 minute dance it off video and feel pretty good about that and if it is too hot, I will run on the treadmill when I get home. I am determined to lose the rest of this weight, but more than that, I have enjoyed feeling better this summer and I will be healthy and will not let work get in my way.

ETA

After work I checked my mail, fixed a yummy ceasar salad pizza, (I'll post the recipe sometime. It was seriously yummy) filled my camel back bladder with water and the pack part with my lip gloss, camera, wallet, phone and keys, changed my clothes, put my Sketchers Shape ups on, grabbed the kiddos and headed out. We did the hike that we normally would have done this morning. But can we say everyone in the city was doing the hike for FHE tonight?  I think I like mornings better- it is cooler and quieter and less crowded.  But I did it. So that makes a small workout in the morning and a hike in the evening and I feel great.

I am amazed that all day I was wanting the clock to move faster so I could come home and go hiking. Really? Two months ago I would have called you crazy if you had suggested that I would crave hiking. I have never liked it very much, but now my body wants to move, move, move! This is very exciting to me. But we will have to see what my body says come winter and snow and cold and no way I am climbing that mountian.  Will I want to get on the treadmill or do an exercise cd? We'll see.

Now, I am off for a long soak in the tub with a good book.
Night all!

One step at a time

I am still hiking 3 times a week. It has been an adventure, to say the least- stepping on snakes, (well almost stepping on one anyway), hikers in front of us finding dead bodies, exploring new territories, feeling better, getting stronger, losing pounds and inches. And I am finding on days that I don't go hiking, my body starts craving that movement, that exercise, that euphoria that comes after I am home again. Best exercise routine I ever embarked upon.  (see this post for an explination of some of the afore mentioned exploits)

So it was with pleasure that I stepped on the scale this morning and I am down 10.2 lbs since the beginning of June. I am now at 175.6. That is so exciting to me. (Tristi, you could update the sidebar if you want and have the time)

I was thinking about what changed for me and why it seems so much easier this time around.

1. I already spent a year revamping my diet- with diet meaning the way I eat as opposed to a temporary food change. I think that has made a huge difference. I stopped looking at diet as a temporary change and looking at it as what it really is- the way I eat. I no longer feel deprived of food because I am not "on a diet" but "eat a healthy diet". I no longer think about what I can't have until I am off my diet, because I am no longer on a diet. What I eat is fuel for my body, not my soul, so there are no forbidden foods, only foods that are good fuel or not so good fuel.

2. I have dealt with a lot of the painful past and feelings and things that were blocking me. Things, hurts, wrongs, injustices, etc. that I felt I needed to hold on to in order to protect myself from being hurt again, or so I could justify my; hurt, anger, disgust, sadness, pain... When I learned to free myself of all that, I could free myself of weight that I could just not let go of. Have I resolved everything? Not even close, but I have learned how to work on it and know when I am holding on and what to do about it. But I still have a long ways to go in this area.

3. I think this is the biggest thing that I have learned this summer- I am the boss of me. What I mean by this is simply this: I was sent here on earth to learn how to become master over my mortal body, to learn how to make this body subject to the spirit, not to let it rule. Because really, if I let the mortal body rule, the choices and decisions it makes will almost always be wrong or hurtful. When I went to the dr. in early June and he started listing the things wrong with me, the things my body was deficient in, the things that were going to be wrong, I got mad. I was making good choices and doing what I thought were the "right" things and still I was having issues. Life is not fair! that was my first reaction.

Then I decided that yes, life is not always fair, but it is not about what is and is not fair. I could choose to be old and broken and wait to die, or I could refuse to be old and broken and choose to live. Who exactly was in charge here? Me or my body? and I choose me. I and I alone choose whether I exercise everyday or not. I and I alone choose what I put into my mouth, what I buy at the store, what I watch, what I do, say, think.... And only when I quit finding an excuse, a justification for what I am or am not doing, then and only then will I truly be in charge of me.  Because I absolutely refuse, REFUSE to be old and broken at 47.

Because I am the boss of me. Not my appetite, not my cravings, not my size, weight, inches, or anything else that is part of my mortal body. Because I am NOT my mortal body. It is only the thing that holds me while on this earth. And I and I alone am the boss and was put in charge of making it what it is or not.

But I truly believe that if I had not spent the past couple of years putting things into place, this realization would have been much harder to execute. But I am doing it, I am climbing that mountian and I will make it. One step at a time.

Now I am off to take a hike.

Happy dance time

I just came home from the doctor's office. Good things are going on here.
Blood Pressure- down. He has me on 1/2 of the lowest possible medication and I am still going down. Soon I will be off!!
Weight- down 6 lbs in 4 weeks!! He said good job, keep it up, and we set a goal for 30 more pounds. I would like 60, but have to be realistic here.

I have continued hiking 3 times a week and it has gotten easier every day. My daughter started taking the GPS with us to track distance and time. We found out that the hike to the water fall is 1/2 mile. The GPS tracks moving time and stopped (resting) time. When we first started taking the GPS we were taking 13 minutes moving time to get to the falls with 13 minutes stopped.  Friday she and I made it to the falls with only 5 minutes stopped and 8 minutes moving!! And then we hiked another 3/10 mile above the falls.

My goal is still to make to the falls with less than 60 seconds stopped time.

A Hike With a View

This is another repost from my personal blog. I did another hike post today as well.

Up the street from the high school, by the town water tanks, is a little park with a pavalion for picnics and get togethers. I didn't even know the pavalion was there until last week, so I am not sure how long it has been there. But then I don't go to this particular park very often. In fact, I think Ethan was a baby the last time I actually got out of my car and wasn't just dropping a child off for an activity. And that time it was winter and we were sledding.

Anyway, this park also it the trail head for some hikes in the foothills around town. A couple weeks ago Brandi's Activity day leader handed me the schedule for the summer activity days. 1 a month for the next 3 months. The first one was a mother/daughter hike up to the water fall just above this park. It was scheduled for a Thursday evening. My first thought, I am sorry to say, was that I was glad it was a Thursday because Brandi has soccer practice at the exact time of the hike so I wouldn't have to go.

Well, when Brandi saw the schedule she asked if she could skip soccer just this one time. Pleeeaaseee?

Ok, it was a mother/daughter thing, and a church thing and who am I to tell her that soccer is more important than mother/daughter stuff, or church stuff? And besides, she has been meeting with her trainer, and had that extra 5 hours last week at Velocity training, and gone to every single practice since she started. So it was agreed that we would go.

And wouldn't you know it, that day turned out to be the hottest day of the year so far- almost 100*. Have I ever told you that I don't do well in the heat? Well I don't. I wilt and get physically ill. Not a pretty site. But I drank a lot of water that day and borrowed a camel back from the kids' dad and Brandi took Jess's and we set out at the appointed time. Somehow we were still about 10 minutes late. Don't know how that happened because it isn't that far from our house. But the rest of the group had gone on already. So that left Brandi and me along with 2 other moms and daughters that pulled up at the same time.

So I have never been up to the falls. The kids have all been, but for one reason or another, I have never made the trip with them so I had no idea what kind of hike this was going to be. Easy and gradual strolling? Steep and hard almost rock climbing? Wide walking and talking trail? Narrow, hang on for dear life goat path? I had no idea. So I asked the kids how they thought I would do.

Jess said I would be able to do it, it was a fairly easy hike. I asked Ethan if I needed to wear pants so I wouldn't get scratched on tree limbs etc. or would my capris be ok. He told me that capris would be fine because it was a wide path. "In fact they take vehicles up it mom, so it is pretty wide and easy."

So I am thinking we have an easy and gradual strolling walk and why have I not ever gone before. And those of you that have been up there can quit laughing now.

Dirt path, yes wide enough for a vehicle, but it is not a smooth path, it is full of rocks and gravel and tree roots. And it is not gradual. And within the first few yards I knew it was not going to be as easy as the preprogrammed workouts on the treadmill- even with the highest incline setting.

I felt old and broken. And poor Brandi kept going ahead and then stopping and coming back for me, asking if I was alright and trying to stay with me. Then I heard water cascading over rocks. And then this came into my view.

And I was hoping we were there and that the hike wasn't really that bad, just needed to do it a few more times so I could keep up with Brandi. Then we got this close and I realized that it was not the water fall but just a mini fall of water. And the trail in front of me only got steeper and narrower. I used taking this picture as an excuse to stop and really catch my breath and give myself a little pep talk along the lines of those that Jillian Micheals give people on The Biggest Loser.

It is about here that the trail is no longer accessable by vehicle. By this time the other two moms were so far ahead that I could no longer hear them walking. But every time I wanted to say, "I can't" I thought of Jillian saying "What do you mean can't? Don't you ever say those words to me" and I took one more step- just to that tree, just to that bend, just to that little flat place... And Brandi never got mad or impatient, just kept encourging me on. Until

Brandi had fun playing with the other girls in the water while I sat on a rock and chatted with the other moms.

I had Brandi take a picture of me before we left, just as proof that I actually made it up there.

Of course going down was much easier, and faster,than going up. I also decided that it was pathetic that the hike up was so hard for me. I am not sure how far it is from the trail head to the falls. My pedometer said it was 2 miles round trip,(but the same pedometer said it was only 1 step from my laundry room to my living room when it is across the room, up a flight of stairs and down a short hall). Trevor said he thought it was a mile up. There is a little sign at the trail head giving the distance to 3 places, but since there is no sign at the falls, I have no idea if they are one of those places or not.

So back to it being pathetic that it was so hard, I decided that this summer is not going to pass by without me conquering this trail. I am going to hike until I can do it without soundng like the big bad wolf. But I am going to do it in the early morning hours when it is not so hot.

In fact, the girls and I went yesterday morning and it wasn't as hard as last Thursday. My biggest problem was my ankle where I tore all those tendons and ligaments when I broke my foot. But they will only get stronger, right?

This is headed back down. Brandi put on Jess's hoodie because it was kinda chilly down in the shadows next to the falls

This is the trail that branches off of the main trail

and goes down to the falls.

So the plan is to hike up to the falls every Monday and Friday morning. On Wednesday we are going to hike a different trail that Jess found the other day. Tuesday and Thursday I will continue strength training. And at the end of summer I will take that hike and maybe Brandi will have to hurry to catch up with me.

On a totally unrelated note, just after you get back on th main trail after coming up from the falls, this is the view

See that red building? The tannish builing right in front of it is where I used to work.

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Indeed.

Food, Glorious Food

This is a post I wrote Saturday over on my personal blog, but I thought you all might fnd it useful as well.

If you have read my blog for any time, you know that I stopped eating sugar, white flour and most pre-packaged, processed foods a year ago in order to try to be healthier. And you also know that the dr. tells me that I am still broken in spite of it. That was really discouraging for me and I admit that I had few days of pity party. But this darn vitamin D makes it hard to stay down in the dumps for too long.

So instead of going and eating a bunch of junk food, I decided to fast and pray and study about what to do. I am convinced that the answer lies in the food I put in my body. But just cutting all the obvious things was not helping, so I did a lot of pondering over the last week. A couple of things came to mind or just crossed my path and caught my attention. Things that I might have passed by if my mind had not been focused.

1) My friend mentioned on Face Book how much she loved Bountiful Baskets and my interest was piqued so I asked her about it. More on that later

2) I was folding towels and turned the t.v. on and it was tuned to a random channel. The program was a cooking show. The chef was making a roast or something and the host asked why it was so small. The chef answered that it has only been in the last 50-60 years or so that we went from eating mostly fruits and vegetables in season and putting a little meat with it to making meat the main focus of our meals and sometimes forgetting to add in the fruit and vegetables and as a result we are an unhealthy people.

3) In our church we have what is called "The Word of Wisdom" contained in a book of scripture. If you ask most people not of my faith what is in the word of wisdom, they will probably tell you that it says we can't drink coffee or alcohol or smoke. But it contains so much more and I felt that I needed to reread it with that in mind because if I would just follow it, I could heal my body. So I got out my scriptures and re-read the 21 verses. I will admit that I skimmed through the thou shalt not parts because I pretty much have that down- I think- but slowly read the rest:

10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—

11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.

12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;

13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;

15 And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.

16 All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—

17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

18 And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;

19 And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;

20 And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.

21 And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them.

My take away was that I need to increase my fruits, vegetables and grains and decrease my meats. But have you seen the prices of produce lately? And I am lucky? to have children that love fruits and veggies. I go to the store on Sat. morning and by Sunday evening there are no oranges, apples, bananas, avocados, cucumbers.... left in the house! Really.

4) I stumbled on this site (she also has a blog). A way to help my food storage and bank account be healthy as well. I haven't tried it yet, but I am going to start next week and see how doable it is with the foods that I can eat with no sugar, asparteme, high fructose corn syrup etc. (I know my sister uses this site and I get their weekly e-mail, but for some reason I just could never make it work for me. So we will see how this does for me)

So Monday evening I ordered my fist Bountiful Basket. Actually I ordered 2 because, see above statement about fruits and veggies and my kids.  I also ordered the Italian package option and a 24 pound case of peaches.  And I spent $57! I know. I never leave the produce aisle with that low of an amount, which makes it hard to make the rest of the grocery money cover the rest of the list.

Ethan and I went and picked up our baskets this morning.  We were early, so we volunteered and helped out in the getting everything ready for everyone. In return, we got extra produce- a sweet bonus.  And I was amazed at the amount of produce I brought home with me! (pictures below)

The only downside I can see is this- I like to do my grocery shopping Friday evening or early, early Saturday morning. I can't pick up my baskets until 9:30ish and I don't want to make my menue/grocery list until I know what I have so I don't duplicate or leave out something. But I will just have to rearrange and figure it out because the Lord has blessed me with a way to eat the way he wants me to.

How the baskets looked when I brought them in

All the amazing yumminess laying on my counter top.

And if you have been in my kitchen you will know that this takes

up almost the entire bar.

There is only about a foot of space left after the celery and lettuce and the

box of peaches is right at the edge.

Two close ups of the veggies and the fruit

Brandi was so excited about the plums and the peaches because I

refuse to purchase them if they are more than $1/lb

Jake was excited about the grapes for the same reason

The Italian pack (cilantro, basil, thyme, onion, mushrooms, eggplant, zuchinni, garlic)  and the peaches.

I am wishing I had gotten 2 boxes of peaches.

I will admit that I had to look up recipes for the Swiss Chard because I didn't have a clue how to use it or what to make with it. If I like the recipe I choose, I'll post it.

Next up- a post about hiking.

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Indeed.

Slacker #2

Ok, I have kinda My slacked off in the blogging area, too. Seems as if we all have. My slacking off includes my vigilant eating habits. And that is a bad thing.

I had a really intense, stressful class with a teacher that was a beast and expected us to be mind readers and if we guessed wrong we were penalized. If we guessed right? We were penalized anyway. It was a kind of damned if we do and damned if we don't type of 6 weeks. And when someone at work brought candy or cookies? I indulged. And I haven't been sleeping well. My momma cat died and left me with 2 wk old babies. Guess who had to bottle feed them. Even at night? And bathe them, and weigh them and keep them warm and all that other baby stuff? And three job interviews for an internship next year and didn't get any of them.

All of this has added up to me gaining 5 lbs.

But school is out for the summer, so that means that I don't have to go to work every day. The class I am taking now is really laid back and not as stressful (even if it is math/stats and math and I are not on speaking terms). So I am going to get back on track.

Today I did:
1/2 hour of morning/wake-up yoga
20 minutes on the tread mill
Drank 64 oz of water
Had no sugar or other processed food

Pounds- Revisited

So, here we are. I am so not enjoying the last couple of months. School and work have been busy and stressful, home life? even worse.  And to top it all off, I keep losing and gaining the same 3 pounds.  Over and over and.... you get the idea.

So tired of it.

So trying not to be discouraged about it.

So ready to be done with it.

Good news is, the other day I actually wanted to run on the treadmill instead of wasting time.

That's a start, isn't it?

Kick off

I am in a big hurry this morning- work and all that. For some reason the carpool and the boss like me to be on time. Go figure.

But I did want to share this with you. Starting today I am going to be doing a version of this program.

They didn't post this week's menu until late last night and I go to the grocery store on Saturday, so I am having to improvise with what was already planned this week and then I will be a week behind in the kick start. I also am not sure how much of it I can get my kids to eat , but I will be able to incorporate some of it.

A little at a time. Baby steps. What ever, I will be healthier and happier and skinnier!

Conscienceness

I have been craving a hamburger and fries lately, so today that is what I had for lunch. I knew my lunch would be full of carbs, something my body reacts unkindly to. But I made a conscience choice to eat it anyway.

Now here I am 9 hours later and I still feel bloated and full and like I have a rock in my stomach. And even though I made them at home and baked the fries in the oven instead of frying them, they were not as good as I remember.

But the point is, this was a conscience choice. Not something I ate because it was convenient or there. No mindless nibbling. No, a choice made knowing how I would feel, what the scale would say if I stepped on it tomorrow and what dress I will not be able to wear tomorrow because of this choice.

And I am fine with it because it was my choice and I know that the food on the menue for next week does not include high carb meals, but more raw veggies and protein and a lot more healthy choices.

And I did that consciencely as well.

And that makes all the differenced.

Go me

I'm feeling better about working this hard.

*I walked past the valentine chocolate in the office.
* I walked/ran 1 mile in 15 minutes on the treadmill.
*I made a wonderful celery soup. I'll post the recipe later, but it is soooo yummy and good for you to.
*Even though I felt that my numbers would be up if I weighed, the skirt I put on yesterday was loose. And I barely bought it at Christmas.

I haven't had enough water, though. Life at work has been crazy. I started my practicum class. That means I need to work in the counseling office. 100 hours working with the counselors and students. I also still need to do my job. A lot of what I do for my job will count toward my 100 hours, but there are some specific things I need to do to pass the class. And the principal added some duties.

Today I had to set up a seperate office for the other advocates and my self to share and set a schedule for who is going to use it when. It was one of those do a lot of stuff but get nothing done type of days. I hate those kind of days because I usually get sidetracked. And then I forget that I want to be healthy and give in.

I was craving something sweet. But I passed right by that bucket full of chocolate and when I got home I cut up a cucumber, sprinkled it with sea salt, added some cabbage and 2 carrots and took them with me to my daughter's soccer game. And I was fine.

But I did decide that the act of eating raw veggies is a lot of work.

Reasons

So. I would love to blame my weekend food on something like a party for some kind of game or something, but all I have is my son makes one wicked meal. It was his turn to cook tonight and we had twice baked potatoes and cream cheese berry pie. And it was soooo good.

I did have a huge salad to go along with it, so hopefully that will offset the cream/cream cheese I ate tonight. And I didn't finish all of my pie. Does that count for something?

I didn't weigh this morning because I was in a hurry, and I have a feeling that if I weigh in the morning my numbers will be up, so in the interest of my peace of mind, I am not going to get on the scale until next week.

Right now my problem seems to be that I am tired.
Tired of planning menues.
Tired of preparing lunches.
Tired of cooking supper.
Tired of homework.
Tired of class.
Tired of working all day long everyday.
Tired of cleaning.
Tired of no time for relaxing.

You get the picture. I think this is what causes me to get off track. I get tired, discouraged, in a hurry and forget why I am trying so hard to change.

When I had my own business, I had a reasons why list and encouraged my team members to do the same. Our reasons why list were reasons why we were in business for ourselves, this is my reasons for wanting to have a life style change:

1) To stop the pain
2) To loose weight
3) To wake up and feel well
4) To have enough energy to make it through the day
5) To be able to play with my grandbabies
6) Vanity- I really, really want to look good

Looking at that small list helps. I think I will print it out and post it above my desk so when I get feeling tired, I can review my reasons why.

Monday Morning Weigh In

179.8

2 oz. more than when I started back in August. And I don't feel bad about that at all considering I had foot surger the beginning of Dec., have been able to do very little actual exercise because of it, ate sugar and other assorted comfort foods at my mom's and weighed 5 lbs more than that this time last week.

Goal this week: be cognizant of the amount of water I drink each day and drink at least 64 oz each and every day.

I have a paper due and a final this week. Wish me luck!

What I know now

So my week of the Cabbage Soup thing is over. All I have to say is, "I am so glad I do not have to eat like that all the time."

I made a big pot of cabbage soup on Monday and had some every. single. day. Sometimes 3-4 times a day. Even for breakfast.

The soup was good, don't get me wrong about that and I will probably make some more to have in the fridge to take to work for lunches, but when you have the same thing every day, all day long it really gets old. Fast.

There were a lot of veggie trays, stir fry, steamed veggies, fruit bowls, fruit smoothies, fruit juice... All things I like, but when I was helping in the cafeteria and they were serving chicken with the Hawiian haystacks and it was a meatless day, I really wanted to eat it.

But then I remembered the number on the scale had moved down by 2 and that the veggies, fruit and soup in my bag were better for me and going to help me more than the chicken, noodles, and donut would.

So, what I learned was this:
*I really do like veggies and fruit and can fill up on them. I probably don't eat them in the right proportions to the rest of my food. I should eat more of them and less of the rest. So my portions of them will be bigger from now on.

*I also do not drink enough water on a daily basis. I thought I did, but then I had to measure it for this week. Not enough by a long shot. Just getting that much water in me helped immensly. I now have a measured water bottle and my goal is to get no less than 64 oz. of water a day.

*We had Hawaiian haystacks for lunch today and I skipped the cream of chicken sauce and filled my plate with a little rice and a ton of veggies and I liked it just fine.

*I did what I set out to do:
-Cleanse the holiday food from my system
-Get back to pre-holiday weight or close to it
-Jump start the losing process
-Get my head back in the game

I'll post my weekly weight in the morning when I weigh in.

First day

Today was my first day on the Cabbage Soup diet. I was worried about being hungry, being light headed from being hungry, wanting what the others in the office are eating. I wasn't worried about wanting cookies, cakes etc. because I spent last year weaning myself from sugar, but I still sometimes want something other than what I have.

Today I could have all the soup, fruit, juice and water that I wanted. And I did. And I wasn't hungry because every time I started to think I wanted to eat, I had an orange, or a glass of fresh juice, or a cup of herbal tea, or some water. Then I had peaches, applesauce, cucumbers and an orange for lunch. And a couple handfuls of popcorn the secretary sat in front of me before I remembered I wasn't going to have it today. Woops.

The soup was wonderful. The recipe makes a large pot full. The kids ate it and loved it and I still have a large bowl full in the fridge. I will divide it into my individual portion bowls and then just stick them in my lunch bag to take to work. I won't even have to think about what to take because it is already done. Yay!!

This is my new favorite beverage, especially with a bit of coconut milk added.

And what about these? Functional and cute.

Am Not!!

I am not a wimp or a baby.

I had my surgery a month ago. The dr. told me I could start walking on the treadmill 2 weeks ago and running on it last week. But there were days that I could barely walk. In fact, some days I would look at my kids and say, "I feel like someone beat the bottom of my foot with a baseball bat."

This week my ankle and tendon up my shin hurt so bad I wanted to cry. In fact yesterday it hurt so bad I said that if I didn't have a follow up scheduled for today, I would make one.

And I still hadn't gotten on the treadmill. And I felt like a baby and a wimp. Or just lazy.

I saw the doctor today and told him about the beating with a bat feeling. He just said, "Hmmm." Then he looked at my foot and said "What's this? Is this tender?" Oh ya, it was tender.

"Well, you have a stitch trying to come out here. It is one from inside, it should have dissolved, but didn't and now it has abscessed. I'm going to have to pull it out, but you will feel better after." Then he gets out the tweezers.

Insert a sharp hissing intake of breath sound here. Or two or three.

Then he tells me that my tendons should not be so sore still. But since he had to split them to get to the screw, it could just be taking them longer to heal. He'll see me in two weeks and if they aren't better he'll do an x-ray.

But the good news today is this, I came home and walked 1 mile on the treadmill.

It took me 20 minutes at about 3.4 mph and my foot feels like fire now, but I did it.

Overheard

Convo with my 15 year old son yesterday:

"Mom, last night everyone was talking about what their resolutions were going to be. When they asked me I just said, 'I'm Mormon so I guess my resolutions have to be- Read the Book of Mormon, Lose weight.'"

I laughed. Silly boy.

I have a screw loose

Surgery in the morning to remove a screw from my foot. This screw has been causing pain and all kinds of other problems for about 3 years now. I have had it for 4 years. I, however, did not know that I did not need it for the last 3 1/2 years.

There is always the chance that he will not be able to take it out if it gets stuck, but he thinks, according to the x-ray, that it will go well.

The deal is this, I will not be able to run or jump for about 8 weeks. So the treadmill is going to be even more lonely than it has been for the last little bit. And right now is a bad time for that to happen, but I cannot take this pain any longer.

Maybe I'll talk myself into just walking at 2-3 mph so that I can indulge in a few goodies.

Any way, prayers would be nice for success tomorrow.

No more loose screws

I just wanted to check in.

Good news-I am holding steady with the weight.

More good news-the doctor is going to take the screw out of my foot. That should get rid of the pain when I walk or run. Or sit. Or stand Or sleep.

Bad news- I will not be able to run or jump (or dance) for 6-8 weeks. The surgery is scheduled for Dec. 4, so that means the entire month of Dec. and most of Jan. I will not be doing any rigorous exercising.

So I guess I need to really ramp up the quest for sugar free Christmas desserts.