Have you ever looked at someone and been super-frustrated because you know they have all the tools they need for success and yet they won't pick them up and use them? Today I am frustrated with myself in a major way.
In my last post, I said that I've gained back eighteen pounds. We're going to have to increase that number to about thirty.
Something extremely emotional happened in my life the first week of April. To all outward appearances, I was handling it really well, but I did go off the deep end as far as my eating went. That's how I coped with the stress. I grabbed fast food on the go, snacked on chocolate to keep myself going, and decided that until the stress ended, I was giving myself a free pass. The stress ended, and somehow I forgot to rescind the free pass.
I saw a picture of myself taken this last week, and I look awful. I've got rolls where I didn't have rolls a year ago. When I finally lost 88 pounds, I told myself I was never going to weigh that much again, and yet, I'm creeping back up the scale. That makes me very disappointed in myself.
So, listen. I'm going to start getting super personal because I need to work some stuff out, and I think it might be helpful to you if I share what I'm thinking and feeling. I've got family in town and more coming tomorrow, but as soon as they've all left, I'm going to get real about this thing, really real this time, and we're going to reverse this before I put all 88 pounds back on. This just can't continue.
