Saturday, June 29, 2013

Well, Now ...

Have you ever looked at someone and been super-frustrated because you know they have all the tools they need for success and yet they won't pick them up and use them? Today I am frustrated with myself in a major way.

In my last post, I said that I've gained back eighteen pounds. We're going to have to increase that number to about thirty.

Something extremely emotional happened in my life the first week of April. To all outward appearances, I was handling it really well, but I did go off the deep end as far as my eating went. That's how I coped with the stress. I grabbed fast food on the go, snacked on chocolate to keep myself going, and decided that until the stress ended, I was giving myself a free pass. The stress ended, and somehow I forgot to rescind the free pass.

I saw a picture of myself taken this last week, and I look awful. I've got rolls where I didn't have rolls a year ago. When I finally lost 88 pounds, I told myself I was never going to weigh that much again, and yet, I'm creeping back up the scale. That makes me very disappointed in myself.

So, listen. I'm going to start getting super personal because I need to work some stuff out, and I think it might be helpful to you if I share what I'm thinking and feeling. I've got family in town and more coming tomorrow, but as soon as they've all left, I'm going to get real about this thing, really real this time, and we're going to reverse this before I put all 88 pounds back on. This just can't continue.


Pam Williams said...

Good girl! I know how hard this is. I slipped up over the holidays a little bit, and before I got sufficiently back on the wagon, I had my surgery crisis, from which I'm not fully recovered. It never gets easier.

Sandra said...

Me too. I lost all that weight and then got served divorce papers and went into a deep depression. The doctor put me on medication that caused me to gain back 20 lbs. I told him I would rather be skinny and sad that fat and numb. He changed the medication.

But, that medication while it didn't make me gain weight it did make me crave carbs and sweets and I ate them. Cinnamon rolls, bread, ice cream... you know, all my comfort foods. And I gained another 8 lbs. Again I told the doctor that I would rather cry all the time because I refuse to buy new bigger clothes.

Now I no longer crave the carbs and sweets, but still have to deal with the emotional stuff AND the weight isn't leaving as fast as it came.

So now time to get down to the nitty gritty and deal with my life and all its messiness.

Love you, you can do this. And 30 is better than 80.

Josi said...

Love you, Tristi. You can do this.