A Hike With a View

This is another repost from my personal blog. I did another hike post today as well.

Up the street from the high school, by the town water tanks, is a little park with a pavalion for picnics and get togethers. I didn't even know the pavalion was there until last week, so I am not sure how long it has been there. But then I don't go to this particular park very often. In fact, I think Ethan was a baby the last time I actually got out of my car and wasn't just dropping a child off for an activity. And that time it was winter and we were sledding.

Anyway, this park also it the trail head for some hikes in the foothills around town. A couple weeks ago Brandi's Activity day leader handed me the schedule for the summer activity days. 1 a month for the next 3 months. The first one was a mother/daughter hike up to the water fall just above this park. It was scheduled for a Thursday evening. My first thought, I am sorry to say, was that I was glad it was a Thursday because Brandi has soccer practice at the exact time of the hike so I wouldn't have to go.

Well, when Brandi saw the schedule she asked if she could skip soccer just this one time. Pleeeaaseee?

Ok, it was a mother/daughter thing, and a church thing and who am I to tell her that soccer is more important than mother/daughter stuff, or church stuff? And besides, she has been meeting with her trainer, and had that extra 5 hours last week at Velocity training, and gone to every single practice since she started. So it was agreed that we would go.

And wouldn't you know it, that day turned out to be the hottest day of the year so far- almost 100*. Have I ever told you that I don't do well in the heat? Well I don't. I wilt and get physically ill. Not a pretty site. But I drank a lot of water that day and borrowed a camel back from the kids' dad and Brandi took Jess's and we set out at the appointed time. Somehow we were still about 10 minutes late. Don't know how that happened because it isn't that far from our house. But the rest of the group had gone on already. So that left Brandi and me along with 2 other moms and daughters that pulled up at the same time.

So I have never been up to the falls. The kids have all been, but for one reason or another, I have never made the trip with them so I had no idea what kind of hike this was going to be. Easy and gradual strolling? Steep and hard almost rock climbing? Wide walking and talking trail? Narrow, hang on for dear life goat path? I had no idea. So I asked the kids how they thought I would do.

Jess said I would be able to do it, it was a fairly easy hike. I asked Ethan if I needed to wear pants so I wouldn't get scratched on tree limbs etc. or would my capris be ok. He told me that capris would be fine because it was a wide path. "In fact they take vehicles up it mom, so it is pretty wide and easy."

So I am thinking we have an easy and gradual strolling walk and why have I not ever gone before. And those of you that have been up there can quit laughing now.

Dirt path, yes wide enough for a vehicle, but it is not a smooth path, it is full of rocks and gravel and tree roots. And it is not gradual. And within the first few yards I knew it was not going to be as easy as the preprogrammed workouts on the treadmill- even with the highest incline setting.

I felt old and broken. And poor Brandi kept going ahead and then stopping and coming back for me, asking if I was alright and trying to stay with me. Then I heard water cascading over rocks. And then this came into my view.

And I was hoping we were there and that the hike wasn't really that bad, just needed to do it a few more times so I could keep up with Brandi. Then we got this close and I realized that it was not the water fall but just a mini fall of water. And the trail in front of me only got steeper and narrower. I used taking this picture as an excuse to stop and really catch my breath and give myself a little pep talk along the lines of those that Jillian Micheals give people on The Biggest Loser.

It is about here that the trail is no longer accessable by vehicle. By this time the other two moms were so far ahead that I could no longer hear them walking. But every time I wanted to say, "I can't" I thought of Jillian saying "What do you mean can't? Don't you ever say those words to me" and I took one more step- just to that tree, just to that bend, just to that little flat place... And Brandi never got mad or impatient, just kept encourging me on. Until

Brandi had fun playing with the other girls in the water while I sat on a rock and chatted with the other moms.

I had Brandi take a picture of me before we left, just as proof that I actually made it up there.

Of course going down was much easier, and faster,than going up. I also decided that it was pathetic that the hike up was so hard for me. I am not sure how far it is from the trail head to the falls. My pedometer said it was 2 miles round trip,(but the same pedometer said it was only 1 step from my laundry room to my living room when it is across the room, up a flight of stairs and down a short hall). Trevor said he thought it was a mile up. There is a little sign at the trail head giving the distance to 3 places, but since there is no sign at the falls, I have no idea if they are one of those places or not.

So back to it being pathetic that it was so hard, I decided that this summer is not going to pass by without me conquering this trail. I am going to hike until I can do it without soundng like the big bad wolf. But I am going to do it in the early morning hours when it is not so hot.

In fact, the girls and I went yesterday morning and it wasn't as hard as last Thursday. My biggest problem was my ankle where I tore all those tendons and ligaments when I broke my foot. But they will only get stronger, right?

This is headed back down. Brandi put on Jess's hoodie because it was kinda chilly down in the shadows next to the falls

This is the trail that branches off of the main trail

and goes down to the falls.

So the plan is to hike up to the falls every Monday and Friday morning. On Wednesday we are going to hike a different trail that Jess found the other day. Tuesday and Thursday I will continue strength training. And at the end of summer I will take that hike and maybe Brandi will have to hurry to catch up with me.

On a totally unrelated note, just after you get back on th main trail after coming up from the falls, this is the view

See that red building? The tannish builing right in front of it is where I used to work.

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Indeed.

A Sharp Slap in the Face

Yes, it's wake-up call time ...

I mentioned that I've been scared to get on the scale. Well, there was good reason for me to be afraid ... very afraid. This is the only place where I'm posting my weight, and I trust you will all be very kind to me ...

290.2

That's right. In 9.8 pounds, I will weigh 300 pounds. This is what happens when you let things just happen and you don't take control of them. I've gained 6 pounds since the car accident.

I absolutely refuse to weigh 300 pounds. I will not do it. Not gonna, no how, no way.

And yet, if I continue to be oblivious, that's what will happen, and at my current rate, I'd be there before Thanksgiving. Not a lot to be thankful for there, is there?

So, starting today, I'm taking control. Breakfast was a banana and a handful of Spanish peanuts, and a small bowl of low-sugar cereal, because I haven't been to the store to get non-sugar cereal. Lunch hasn't happened yet, but when it does, I'm going to be taking charge of it. I'm also going to be Tweeting my progress regularly. Follow me at #goTristigo I think that will be better than blogging a kazillion times a day, but I won't be Tweeting my weight.

Cheer me on, guys - if I don't do this, then my life won't change, because I'm the only one who can change it.

Food, Glorious Food

This is a post I wrote Saturday over on my personal blog, but I thought you all might fnd it useful as well.

If you have read my blog for any time, you know that I stopped eating sugar, white flour and most pre-packaged, processed foods a year ago in order to try to be healthier. And you also know that the dr. tells me that I am still broken in spite of it. That was really discouraging for me and I admit that I had few days of pity party. But this darn vitamin D makes it hard to stay down in the dumps for too long.

So instead of going and eating a bunch of junk food, I decided to fast and pray and study about what to do. I am convinced that the answer lies in the food I put in my body. But just cutting all the obvious things was not helping, so I did a lot of pondering over the last week. A couple of things came to mind or just crossed my path and caught my attention. Things that I might have passed by if my mind had not been focused.

1) My friend mentioned on Face Book how much she loved Bountiful Baskets and my interest was piqued so I asked her about it. More on that later

2) I was folding towels and turned the t.v. on and it was tuned to a random channel. The program was a cooking show. The chef was making a roast or something and the host asked why it was so small. The chef answered that it has only been in the last 50-60 years or so that we went from eating mostly fruits and vegetables in season and putting a little meat with it to making meat the main focus of our meals and sometimes forgetting to add in the fruit and vegetables and as a result we are an unhealthy people.

3) In our church we have what is called "The Word of Wisdom" contained in a book of scripture. If you ask most people not of my faith what is in the word of wisdom, they will probably tell you that it says we can't drink coffee or alcohol or smoke. But it contains so much more and I felt that I needed to reread it with that in mind because if I would just follow it, I could heal my body. So I got out my scriptures and re-read the 21 verses. I will admit that I skimmed through the thou shalt not parts because I pretty much have that down- I think- but slowly read the rest:

10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—

11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.

12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;

13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;

15 And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.

16 All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—

17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

18 And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;

19 And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;

20 And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.

21 And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them.

My take away was that I need to increase my fruits, vegetables and grains and decrease my meats. But have you seen the prices of produce lately? And I am lucky? to have children that love fruits and veggies. I go to the store on Sat. morning and by Sunday evening there are no oranges, apples, bananas, avocados, cucumbers.... left in the house! Really.

4) I stumbled on this site (she also has a blog). A way to help my food storage and bank account be healthy as well. I haven't tried it yet, but I am going to start next week and see how doable it is with the foods that I can eat with no sugar, asparteme, high fructose corn syrup etc. (I know my sister uses this site and I get their weekly e-mail, but for some reason I just could never make it work for me. So we will see how this does for me)

So Monday evening I ordered my fist Bountiful Basket. Actually I ordered 2 because, see above statement about fruits and veggies and my kids.  I also ordered the Italian package option and a 24 pound case of peaches.  And I spent $57! I know. I never leave the produce aisle with that low of an amount, which makes it hard to make the rest of the grocery money cover the rest of the list.

Ethan and I went and picked up our baskets this morning.  We were early, so we volunteered and helped out in the getting everything ready for everyone. In return, we got extra produce- a sweet bonus.  And I was amazed at the amount of produce I brought home with me! (pictures below)

The only downside I can see is this- I like to do my grocery shopping Friday evening or early, early Saturday morning. I can't pick up my baskets until 9:30ish and I don't want to make my menue/grocery list until I know what I have so I don't duplicate or leave out something. But I will just have to rearrange and figure it out because the Lord has blessed me with a way to eat the way he wants me to.

How the baskets looked when I brought them in

All the amazing yumminess laying on my counter top.

And if you have been in my kitchen you will know that this takes

up almost the entire bar.

There is only about a foot of space left after the celery and lettuce and the

box of peaches is right at the edge.

Two close ups of the veggies and the fruit

Brandi was so excited about the plums and the peaches because I

refuse to purchase them if they are more than $1/lb

Jake was excited about the grapes for the same reason

The Italian pack (cilantro, basil, thyme, onion, mushrooms, eggplant, zuchinni, garlic)  and the peaches.

I am wishing I had gotten 2 boxes of peaches.

I will admit that I had to look up recipes for the Swiss Chard because I didn't have a clue how to use it or what to make with it. If I like the recipe I choose, I'll post it.

Next up- a post about hiking.

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Indeed.

Vacations and Weight . . . Oh My

As soon as school got out we went on vacation, pretty much. We headed out to Yellowstone and then to Montana to visit with Damon's family. I did pretty well at Yellowstone. I might not have done fabulously with eating, but the first night we got there I went on a walk with my dad (we even jogged--just for about thirty seconds, but STILL) and the next day we walked around at Yellowstone. So I figured that even if diet hadn't been great, at least I'd done SOME exercising.

In Montana however, I didn't do so well. My diet was WAY worse AND we didn't exercise all that much.

I was afraid to weigh myself when I got home. As a matter of fact I did some unhealthy things when I got home. And I took a couple of days to weight myself. When I did I was NOT happy. I had gained. Almost back to 190. Over the past week to two weeks? or so I've done better--well not better. If I know I'm going out to dinner that night and my calories will be high, then I don't eat until that time. It's the only I way I know how to manage the calories when I know I'm eating out.

Although I haven't done that very often I have done it. Anyway, my exercise hasn't been very good either, BUT, somehow I've gone back to around 184-185. Which makes me feel slightly better. I'm still trying to get down to that 182.

Here's the deal though. We go back on vacation July 10th and we are basically gone until August 10th. The first place we're going to--my friend Hilary--she has a treadmill and access to a sweet swimming pool so I can get myself exercising. BUT, the eating? Yeah, that won't be so great. And then off to New York and then North Carolina and I have NO idea how exercise is going to work out with that or eating.

OH, and my extended family is dealing with some SEVERE issues and there is a LOT of stress in their lives and by extension--mine. HUGE issues. The kinds of issues that we'll be dealing with for years to come. Divorce, mental breakdowns . . . just some really big things. And that has made my life at home very busy. So exercise is going by the wayside and I have to admit, because my stress levels have gone so high, they're beyond comfort food--we've actually entered the realm of the 'upset stomach' stress, so it's been really easy to not eat very much or well. Which isn't good either because that also messes up the whole metabolism thing.

All in all, things are bad right now. But still. I'm determined to not let myself go. Even if I don't get to lose this summer if I can maintain this weight range from 184-185, or even get down a couple more pounds, I think I'm going to try and just be stable. It is so hard to gain that weight back and have to start the cycle all over again. I do NOT want to do that. I don't. So even though things are hugely stressful, and we're having a huge vacation this summer, I need to take control and be in control.

So if I'm eating out, I'll eat really slowly and when I'm full, even if the food is delicious, I'll stop eating. Even if the plate is still half full, it's better to waste that food then to gain weight. And I'll try to do some exercises in my hotel room. And if that hotel has a place to exercise or swim, even though I hate exercising in front of people I'll try and do it. I know I'll be walking a LOT in New York, which is great. I can take control. I can maintain this weight even through all of this stuff. And eventually I can start losing again.

We can ALL do this.

Just Sayin' Hi

Hi everyone,

Well, it's been an interesting earth life experience for me lately. The car accident in March derailed ideas of exercise, and each time I've tried to resume a regime, I pull my psoas and oblique muscles too much, even when exercising gently. That said, I have to admit that hasn't made me too sad - exercising isn't my fav. What is making me sad is my weight.

Then my dad passed. He needed round the clock care for nine days before he died, and all my attention was shifted from me and my house to him and his. We scrabbled together a list of family who could come in and be with him, and between coordinating that, taking turns myself, and then sleeping it off when I got home, nothing about my own care was done during that time.

Since then, I've been battling extreme fatigue. It's been a combination of tiredness from caring for him and grief. We knew he was passing, but his final downturn happened so fast, it was a real shock how fast it went. I spent this time living on Cherry Coke and whatever I could grab on the run.

I have not been on a scale since the car accident. Fact is, I'm scared to get on. I know I've gained through the midsection, but I haven't had the ability to do much about it. I'm hoping that this week brings opportunity to correct my course, but I have no way of knowing at this point. Just making Father's Day dinner wore me completely out today, and I know I have a long way to go before I've built back up all the reserves I lost during Dad's final illness and the funeral.

I think something else I've been struggling with is that I've been having the thought, "Maybe I just need to accept the fact that I'm a fat woman and stop worrying about it." On the one hand, it seems so easy to just throw in the towel and stop trying. But on the other hand, I don't want to identify myself as "a fat woman." I don't feel fat on the inside. When I look in the mirror, I'm often surprised at how the way I look doesn't match up with how I feel. Physically, I feel fat, of course, but emotionally, I'm not. This has led to a lot of disconnect in the relationship I have with my body.

Nope, I'm not giving up. I've been very inspired by Lu Ann and her amazing success - she's lookin' smokin', and I want to try reducing my sugars and seeing if that is the key I've been missing. I'm hoping to get my brain working again so I can undertake a new project - seriously, I've been so wiped out, I haven't even done the bills yet, and we got paid on the 15th. We're going to have some late fees and I'm struggling to even care.

Thanks for your friendship, everyone, and for sharing this journey with me!

Quick Check In

I know I haven't posted in forever. I think in my last post I said my new goal was to just not gain too much weight with my pregnancy.

Well, last week I had a doctor appointment and he surprised me by saying that I was spot on for where I should be with my weight gain. It had been five weeks since I'd seen him last and I'd gained five pounds. This was very surprising since I'd spent a lot of time in those five weeks sitting on my butt in a car driving out to Utah and eating junk food to stay awake. I guess I worked it off hiking at Arches.

Something I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not, I've been told a few times recently that people can't tell I'm pregnant. So does that mean I'm not showing much (which I know can't be the answer) or they just figured I am fatter than I really am? I don't know.

My ward got a nice shock when I left for vacation wearing regular jeans and came back wearing maternity clothes. That was kind of funny. I hadn't announced the pregnancy, so most people didn't know at all until I showed up with my belly sticking out.

Anyway, just wanted to share that I'm doing well with my goal of watching my weight this pregnancy and not letting myself get too caught up in the whole "eating for two" idea.

Still Wondering

I'm still wondering if I'd recommend the HCG diet. My weight has been between 182-185 since I've gone off. It's been up and down . . . yesterday I was at 183.6, today 184.4. So it's hard to tell. I'm hoping that I'll start losing again--I haven't gone crazy with food, but I also haven't followed hardcore the HCG diet restrictions for the maintenance period. Soo I might not be the best person to listen to.

Still--I'm doing pretty okay. Today at school was the carnival and I worked in the concessions--popcorn, candy bars, chips, snow cones, cotton candy . . . I could have had any of it that I wanted, but I didn't. I resisted.

I did have one piece of pizza for lunch, but after standing on my feet all day (and lifting a lot of boxes of soda pop!) I felt like that was okay! And now I've had my 'after-school' snack. I'm also going to taekwondo tonight, so I'm actually doing very well on calories today. I might even be a little low.

So far I'm doing okay. I'm not thrilled that my weight has been so up and down, instead of steady and consistently staying at around 182, but oh well. I'm really hoping that in about a month I'll be able to lose around a pound a week. It might take going to a doctor and making sure that my metabolism is okay, and seeing if I'm maybe going TOO low in calories (hee hee wouldn't that be nice?). . . but I'm going to do what I need to do to lose the rest of this weight. At LEAST twenty more pounds.