Ignorance Is Not Bliss

Hey, folks!

This week, I've been doing a lot of thinking and realizing. I'd like to share those thoughts and realizations with you.

As I mentioned last week, I have realized that I have the bad habit of forgetting to eat until the afternoon and then having to hit a fast-food drive-through before I pass out. I've made myself two rules which I've kept all week long, and they are:

1. I can't get online until I've had something to eat.
2. I can't leave the house until I've had something to eat.

By following these two rules, my blood sugar has stayed a lot more stable this week. Granted, the things I've eaten haven't always been the best choice - I'm still not getting enough protein - but compared to where I was a week ago, I'm feeling pretty good about things.

I was also sugar-free from Monday to Friday. Then I realized I was weirding out because I was cleansing it out too fast, so I had some. I will continue to reduce, but not as cold turkey. I had to go cold turkey off caffeine when I went off it two years ago because weaning off slowly wasn't working for me. Sugar, on the other hand, for me, needs to be weaned.

Okay, so those were the three rules I set for myself this week, and I think I did pretty well.

A realization, though, is that I justify myself. A lot.

If I'm out running errands and the blood sugar drops, I'll grab a sandwich. And it's not necessarily the healthiest one on the menu, because I'm justifying that I need to eat something fast. I could grab a salad and leave off half the dressing, but I don't do that because I'm justifying. I've got to get out of that mindset.

I have also allowed myself to become oblivious to the situation.

See, my bathroom scale broke a while back (read: my seven-year-old decided it was the funnest thing ever) and so I haven't had a way to check my weight here at home. I was only weighing at my doctor's office, and he left it to me to weigh and report. So I would sort of forget to weigh, because I didn't want to know. Without that wake-up call every so often, the weight started to come back on. I started this journey at 300, got down to 212, lost my bloomin' mind, and now I'm at 245.  I didn't know I was at 245 until this last week when I bought a scale.

Which makes my next realization the fact that I need a scale in my home. I need to be able to see, fairly regularly, what my choices are doing to me. If I have a good week, I need to see that my weight responded favorably. If I have a bad week, I need to see that on the scale as well. We are so busy in our current society, running here and there, spending long hours at a desk, that we can easily let things like our weight fly under the radar.I need the radar on it turned on so I'm not oblivious anymore.

I'm rambling now - sorry. :)

All right - goals for this next week. They are refinements on last week's goals.

1. Eat something with protein before I get on the computer in the morning.
2. Eat a vegetable and a protein before I leave the house.
3. Continue to reduce sugar.

In addition, I'm setting some weight-loss goals. I was at 212 and am now at 245, meaning that I've regained 33 pounds. This is July 7th - I'm going to set the goal to lose 33 pounds by November 1st. I'm going to do it the same way I lost the original 88 - by eating protein and vegetables, nuts and seeds, no sugar, very little grain, and drinking a lot of water. I know this works for me - I just need to get the emotional side plugged back in.

So, there you have it. Goal: 212 on November 1st. Let's go get 'em!