At Tristi’s request, here is the blog post heard ‘round the world!!! At least it rang around my world…and it’s still ringing. I had been feeling for a few days that I needed to start blogging about my weight loss battle. It was a tough thing to do. I mean, who really wants to go public with their personal flaws? Who wants to admit that they’re spiraling downward and out of control? I hated to come out and say, “Guess what guys? I’m fat!” (As if everyone didn’t already know.) Well, I swallowed my pride, said a little prayer, felt at peace…and then I pushed “post”. The rest is history in the making. Since that first post on 12-3-09, I’ve lost over 40lbs.
Does anyone know what the symbols mean between these two parentheses? (• • • — — — • • •) It’s Morse code for S.O.S. and this is me saying I need help; this is my S.O.S. call to whoever is out there...and I almost hope it’s nobody because what I have to say is very personal but I am saying it anyway. No. I’m not gay! But I am tired of being overweight and most of all I hate looking and feeling unhealthy. What I need is to make a long term commitment to a healthy lifestyle...one that I can live with forever. What I don’t have is enough staying power to do what I know I need to do. I need commitment, and that’s where you all come in. I have looked nearly everyone that I love in the eye and swore to them that “today was the day I was going to change!” and I couldn’t keep my promises. I’ve let them down, and more tragically myself, so many times that I don’t even know who I am anymore and I don’t know if they know me anymore either. I am tired of running into old friends from my mission or college to find that they don’t even recognize me...and that has really happened. I’m tired of not being able to do the things I once loved to do. I’m tired of not being as confident about my appearance. I’m tired! I’m tired! I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired for that matter.
But what about you? (If there’s even anybody even reading this.) I haven’t lied to you. I haven’t broken any promises between us have I? What if I sat here tonight and blogged to the world (who may or may not be listening) that tomorrow is a new and better day, a healthier day? What if I posted my hurtles, pitfalls, and progress? Would posting it make a difference to me? Would I have your support or would you be embarrassed for me. I would think it fair if you were embarrassed for me. I am embarrassed myself about this whole crazy idea. I am absolutely the last guy in the world to admit that I need help. I’m usually the one doing the helping, but today is my day to swallow my freaking pride and say that I need help. I need a level of commitment like I’ve never had before and I am hoping, even praying actually, that I can get it from you. Besides, I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I mean after all, we are in America right? Most of us are living far too high on the hog...and the hogs in this country are healthier than most of us by the way.
If I have the guts to post this blog (I’m 467 words into it and I still don’t know if I will do it) will you have the guts to show your support and even join me in a quest for a better life? Either way, I’m in. And to prove it, I am looking you all in the eye right now and swearing that I will not go to bed tonight without doing some sort of exercise, and tomorrow when I wake up, I’m going to post to you that I kept my word about my health for the first time in far too long of a time! And I’m going to keep posting my goals, progress, the ups and downs, for as long as it takes for me to change or until I’m dead...which isn’t far off I’m afraid, if I don’t start taking better care of myself.
PS If you think I sound serious now, wait until in the morning because I am going to post my weight and goals for the day! Holy Crap! I can’t believe I’m doing this but I’m at the end of my pitiful rope! Besides, this is so stupid that it just might work!!!