Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Feeling Guilty

Okay, so I guess I'll come here and just tell you all what a loser I am. Really, every time I see this blog in my blog list, I cringe, just knowing that my pictures are on here and my gung-ho "here we go"ness is all over this blog, and here I am, sitting on my - well, you know - eating junk food.

I don't know what the problem is.

Okay, I do. The problem is that I just don't /want/ to exercise. I don't /want/ to eat a healthy snack. I just /want/ to sit down with a good book and eat a few doughnuts.

When it comes to the point in the day when I'm supposed to be working out, I consider the options for a second and decide I just Don't. Want. To. Do. It. I'll try to talk myself out of the temptation to eat a candy bar, but in the end, I just decide I want to eat it. Period. So I do.

I think despite all this, I've lost a couple pounds, but, really, it's incidental.

Ideas? Pep talks? Shameful scathing recriminations? Lay it on me. 'Cuz I need something; I just don't know what. ;o)


Erin said...

I am so there with you. I love snacks and not healthy ones. I am currently trying to change so don't give up. I won't if you won't.

Maybe the answer is smaller changes. Maybe have a smaller snack and go on a short walk.

I don't know. Just keep trying.

Shanna Blythe said...

I once told my husband, as we were watching a movie, that I would give anything to have 'that body' of the actress. I then paused a moment and added, "Well, except for diet and exercise!"

This is the third time I've done my 'diet'. And it took me a two or three years after that statement to get to actually doing this diet that I'm doing right now. But it never has to be that extreme. I'm with Erin. Make the smaller changes. When you are doing normal activities figure out ways to make them slightly more physically challenging.

For example? While brushing your teeth bounce up and down on your feet. Instead of worrying about cutting out all that LOVELY YUMMY junk food . . . perhaps add an extra thing of fresh fruit and reduce the portions of that junk food slightly.

As you load that laundry into the basket lift it up as you walk it to wherever you go to fold your laundry. Stuff like that.

Don't give up. Don't compare yourself to the people who have gotten to the point where they are doing more hard-core diets. We all have our own paths to follow and our own way of finding happiness in those paths.

Good luck!!!

Shanna Blythe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marta O. Smith said...

Want motivation? This is scary but it might work. Go into the bathroom or bedroom, wherever you have a full length mirror. Lock the door. Stand naked in front of the mirror. Are you okay with the way your body looks? If not, what are you going to do about it?

Maybe you need different goals or a different method. Try something different. Take your children to the park and instead of just pushing the merry-go-found, hold on and run.

Set a kitchen timer for 5 minutes and tell yourself that you will hit the treadmill for 5 minutes and that's all you have to do. Once you are on there, maybe you will want to keep going, maybe you won't.

Find someone who is willing to come into your home once in a while to yell at you to keep going as you are doing crunches a la Jillian Michaels, the trainer on Biggest Loser. Or go to the Biggest Loser web site and watch episodes from last season to get inspired.

Sit down and write it out. (You are one of those writer types, after all.) Start with the phrase, "I am rebelling against my diet and exercise plan because . . ." and go for at least three pages. You just might get down to what's really going on.

Good luck, and when I hit a wall and blog about it, you are allowed to shove all this advice right back at me.

Sandra said...

I hear you on that exercise thing. I actually put on my exercise clothes yesterday. that is as far as I got.

For me it was deciding that I really, really was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And then I had to figure out what I wanted to do about it. And I made my changes slowly, but made sure they were something I could stick to.
If I want a donut, I know I am going to be in pain the next day. Am I ok with that? If so, then I decide what I am going to do to counteract that donut- walk on the treadmill (probably not) or go without supper, or eat less supper, no snacks for a week? Whatever.

But it all comes down to this definition:

When it becomes harder to suffer than change, I'll change.

I think that will be the topic of my blog post tomorrow.

Jenn Wilks said...

Thanks guys! I think part of why I'm having such a hard time is because I HAVE gotten to that point before, twice in the last 2 years. Where I couldn't take it anymore and I made major changes and had major success. And then I gained it all back again. The only reason I got off track last time was because of my bike injury. And it's been bugging me so bad that I can't get back to that.

I'll just try to make some small changes and see what I can do. I'll check back in tomorrow and tell you what I did. :o)

hi, it's me! melissa c said...

I think you need to sit down and really ask yourself WHY don't don't want to. There is surely an underlying reason. Depression? You don't think you'll succeed so why try? You're not worth it? All those things sap our will to get on with it.

I'd be willing to bet that deep down, you DO want to lose weight. You Do want to feel beautiful, sexy, athletic, strong, and healthy. I'm SURE you do. You're no different than the rest of us. So, you need to find out why you're resisting. Is it a self esteem issue?

Many women who were sexually abused as children tend to gain weight and keep it. I don't know if you fall into that category, but if you do, if could be a protection mechanism. Deep down, these women feel that if they're fat, no one will bother them. (sexually) Maybe you should even see someone about it if you feel you have any of these issues.

We are in total support and root for your success. We love you and please don't feel guilty. That's one of the worst emotions for failure there is. A little can be good, but a lot is debilitating.

Good luck and keep posting!

Erin said...

I don't think there is anything wrong with you Jenn.

Weight loss is hard. It takes a change in your life and that is not easy. So I say what I said before make small changes. Get good at them and then if you feel ready for more make more.

Don't be upset because you are not at your goal weight in 3 months. This is a life style change. It took you years to get here it will take a while to change.

Tristi said...

No recriminations whatsoever.