I'm feeling a bit disheartened today.
I've been watching my caloric intake and my fat intake, and I've been exercising. I've been taking my thyroid medication, drinking my water, and doing everything else we all know we're supposed to do in order to lose weight.
And yet, today I weighed in at 278.8, which is more than I weighed a week ago. Last week I weighed 277.2.
I keep giving myself pep talks. "Tristi, this is awesome! You started this thing at 284.5, and so you've lost some weight! Good for you!"
I also remind myself that muscle weighs more than fat, and since I'm doing strength training, it's natural that I would see a difference in how the weight comes off.
My husband and kids are telling me I look skinnier than ever, which isn't true because they've all seen me much skinnier, but their support is awesome.
Today I'm just having a hard time supporting myself.
When you're as overweight as I am, there are times when it seems like a hopeless battle. A thinner woman can lose five pounds and it shows up immediately. A larger woman has to lose quite a bit before those around her start to notice. There are days when it would be so easy to just quit trying.
But I'm not going to quit trying. I'm committed to this battle until the end. I want to go clothes shopping and have to buy all new clothes because nothing I own fits, and I want to buy really cute clothes and feel like a million dollars in them. I want to stop being the fattest person there when I go somewhere. I want to look as sassy on the outside as I feel on the inside. I want to be healthy and have energy.
So I'm definitely not giving up.
I'm just having a moment. Don't worry - I'll snap out of it.