I'm afraid to weigh. So I haven't.
In my previous post, I mentioned that I had the habit of keeping sugary snacks by my desk and whenever I had a pressing deadline on an edit, I would keep myself going by popping those little snacks. I also realized that I had a tendency to crave high fat foods. I made the decision to do away with both habits, and was feeling pretty chipper. Throughout Thursday, I was sticking to the eating plan, moving around, and lovin' life.
Then Friday happened, when I realized that the edit I'm currently working on couldn't possibly be done by the deadline, and I had to pour it on. (457 pages, single spaced.) I concentrated all my energy on it and felt like a slug moving sluggishly through sluggy, sluggy slime.
Then I realized why I crave fattening food and sugary food when I have a deadline - fat to feed my brain and sugar to keep me moving. Ah ...
So, I'm sorry to say, there has been some slipping off the wagon for me. I did have some fast food on Friday night, and I did get some sugar. Not as much as I would have in the past, but there has been sugar.
I also realized something else about myself. In the past, I've said things like, "I ate twelve boxes of donuts, but I also went for a long walk, so that's progress." If you want to think about it like that, sure ... that's progress. But at what point does the justification end and at what point does accountability take over?
I'm responsible for what I eat, what I don't eat, when I exercise, and when I don't. No more justification. I've gone off the eating plan this weekend, and chances are, I'll struggle with it until I get this edit done. I take responsibility for that. The next challenge is, finding ways to feed my brain and keep my energy up. I'm already having awesome ideas having to do with avocados and vitamin C. There's always a way, always a substitute.
In the meantime, I'm pretty sure I've gained back those two pounds. Not going to beat myself up about it, but I'm not going to justify it, either. It is what it is, and tomorrow's choices will bring about tomorrow's results.
You all are doing awesome - I'm really proud of you and I'm having so much fun reading your stories. Thanks for hanging out with me!